Thanksgiving, Harry Potter, 4 Months...

Wow I'm really awful at updating this. But like I've said before it's because nothing super important or grand happens in my life. So for Thanksgiving we went back to Rock Springs with Loren's sister. Once again I got to play with Olivia and Gracie and they were even cuter than the time before. Olivia is talking more, I have this Maggie doll I've had forever that I take everywhere with me and the girls love her. Olivia would walk around with her in her arms going Maggie doll, Maggie doll, Maggie doll over and over. She's so cute. I also think she finally learned who I was because when they'd say give Maggie a hug she'd actually come over to me. Gracie remembered me too, the first thing she said to me was can we play the rainbow game? She's just too adorable I love both of them. Sadly I didn't really get to go shopping on Black Friday. I went around 3ish with my roommate and got a few things for my family that were really good deals. Actually I'm almost completely done shopping. Oh and while we were in Rock Springs we saw Harry Potter. Yeah I was really disappointed in it. I didn't like it at all and neither did Loren. I was just waiting for it to be over and hoping I didn't fall asleep because the only theater in Rock Springs cost $9 for a ticket!!! It was ridiculous. There was also the really weird scene with Harry and Hermione naked and all up on each other that was super crazy. So other than that Thanksgiving wasn't anything too special. It was nice to not be alone and I also heard that my family decided to meet on Wednesday instead of on Thanksgiving. I don't like that, you're supposed to have you family on Thanksgiving! Booo on that.

We were only there Wednesday night, all of Thanksgiving, and then we came back to Provo Friday morning. Loren has to work everyday but Thanksgiving that week. I did a lot of sitting around, sleeping, playing on facebook, and going places with Carlene. Which brings us to yesterday. Yesterday was 4 months for Loren and I. I feel like it was just yesterday I was typing it was 3 months (in fact I think it was just 2 posts ago). I just think this is super crazy because I came out here after only dating him for 2 weeks. Honestly it probably shouldn't have worked out for us, but it did. I'm soo glad it has too. He's been so amazing I love being in Utah and having him around. This is an experience I never thought I'd have but it has been like a dream the whole time. I'm kind of at a lost for words, I don't really know what to say than what I already have. I'm so thankful everyday to have Loren in my life even when we have not as happy days. Nothing changes how I feel about him :)

We come home in 16 days! It's soo crazy but I'm excited. Also I'm almost done with my application to the LDS Business College. I think that's all for now.

Playing Catch Up...

So honestly if I had more interesting things to talk about I'd update more. But not a lot has happened. For Halloween Loren and I went up to Rock Springs, Wyoming where his sister Lindsay lives. She has 2 girls names Gracie and Olivia. They are the most precious girls ever! I absolutely fell in love with them over that weekend and it made me want kids as well. I ended up becoming Gracie's best friend. I slept in her room, and she really liked my phone so she'd come to me a lot. Oh and she also liked my Maggie doll. But there were so many cute things she said over the weekend. While we were at the Rec Center in the little lazy river I see Lindsay tell me to hold up, so I wait and she said Gracie said she wanted Maggie and Loren to take her around. So I took Gracie for pretty much the remainder of the time we were there. I didn't mind at all. She's so adorable and Lindsay is soo pregnant (she's due in January) that it didn't bother me at all. Then later on Loren and I were going to sit at the counter and let their family sit at the table for dinner and Gracie said "but I wanted to sit next to Maggie" so her and Loren switch spots. Gracie did not stop talking throughout all of the dinner. Then she hears Loren laugh here was the conversation:
Gracie: "What's that guy laughing about"
Me: "Wait what's his name?"
Gracie: "Him!"
Lindsay: "Hang on what's his name"
Gracie: "Uhhhh..."
Lindsay: "What's her name?"
Gracie: "Maggie!"
Lindsay: "What's his?"
Gracie: "Oh umm Loren..."
Hahaha I laughed so hard that night. Then we were going to put the kids in bed and Gracie goes "there's your bed Maggie" and I said "well I'm not going to bed right now". Gracie then says "oh well I'll just put my doll and blanket on the bed and go watch the Wiggles with you." I told her it was her bed time and she said she didn't want to go to bed though, and it was super cute. The morning we left as I was packing my things she was in there with me and here was another conversation:
Gracie: "Where's your ring?"
Me: "I don't have one"
Gracie: "You don't have a ring?"
Me: "Nope."
Gracie: "Do you have to go buy it?"
I once again laughed so hard, she just looked at me and started laughing too. Then Loren was scraping the ice off his car and Gracie was sitting with me and I said "Well I need to go" and Gracie said "But I wanted you to stay for a while, like Christmas" Lindsay then begins to explain it's only going to be 3 more weeks til I'm back and Gracie goes "So you're coming for Thanksgiving? I'll see you in 3 weeks". It was soo adorable. As we left Gracie gives me a hug and then she goes "But whaat am I going to do??" Then starts pouting. I just wanted to stay with her some more. Out of all of these things I think my favorite thing Gracie said all weekend was on Sunday night. Loren and I were both playing with Gracie and Loren says "Hey Gracie am I your favorite uncle?" Her response was, "Yeah, well but Maggie's my favorite Aunt!" We had to explain to her that I wasn't her Aunt, but I felt so loved that weekend by Gracie and laughed so much. I love little kids. They're the greatest! That's pretty much all the exciting things that have happened. Oh and I've also decided to apply for the LDS Business College and work on probably some Generals and see what I want from there. But yeah, I'm counting down the days til my return with Gracie. Hopefully she'll love me just as much then!

Oh and one last note I'm coming home in a month a 4 days!!

 Here's Gracie and Olivia.

 My best friend Gracie. She's a hoot!

 Loren and I after church :)

Three.

So in the past week I've realized something. I am probably one of the hardest people to deal with ever. I am very much a perfectionist. I've always been this way though. I feel like if I can make everything in my life as perfect as possible then I will make everyone happy. I know it's impossible to make everyone happy, but it honestly upsets me when someone doesn't like me. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong because I do everything I can to make others smile and laugh. I don't do it for me, but because I really do just care. I care about people I don't know. I don't know how to explain it really, there's this part in me that just wants to go to everyone whether I know them or not and let them know that someone loves them, to let them know that they are special. This was part of the reason I wanted to work with kids. I felt like if I could make a difference in even one child's life then I'd be happy. On the flip side I know this perfectionist view is hard to deal with for people who are close in my life. For example Loren and I have these designated dishes we use. We have matching bowls, cups, plates, and mugs. There are only 2 of each of these items, and I use them everyday if I'm eating with Loren. If I know only one of us will be eating I'll use something different. But when it's me and him I have to make sure it's all perfect. The other day I walk into his apartment and my mug had been used. Not only had it been used, whoever used it left it sitting on the couch, and they had milk in it! This really irked me because someone messed up my system, and it was just gross (oh that's another thing I have to clean the dishes right after we use them, I can't just leave them there or it bothers me and then they're not clean for the next time we use them). This really shouldn't have bothered me but I just looked at Loren and I was on the verge of tears because it bothered me that much.
There also was a time when I was cooking dinner. When I cook I have to make sure everything is perfect, and I'm paranoid that no one will like what I'm cooking. I ask about 10 times during the meal if it's ok and if they're being honest. I was making macaroni though and I went to drain the noodles and couldn't find the strainer. I decided to just put the lid over and leave a little space for water to come out, I've done this before. But on this time somehow I lost my grip and all the noodles go falling into the sink. My first instinct was to cry because I have ruined dinner. Loren walks over and says "no it's ok look they fell in the sink. We can just pick them up put them in the strainer and wash them, they'll be ok."  But I said no they're ruined I messed it all up and left the room. Loren ended up finishing the dinner and he ate the macaroni, and I ate like half a bowl because I felt so ashamed that I had messed it up. Loren kept telling me I didn't do anything wrong, but I still felt that way.
Now I say all of this because today is 3 months for Loren and I. Time is flying by so fast, but I'm so lucky to have him in my life. Like I said I know my perfectionist self is hard to deal with at times, but he sits there and says I love you just the way you are. We've talked about this a lot and he'll ask me why I feel the need to be perfect and I say that I feel that he deserves to only have perfect things. He deserves to have the best of everything. His response was "but you are already perfect, you're perfect for me and that's all that matters." I can't even begin to describe how grateful I am that Heavenly Father placed Loren into my life. It was completely unexpected and not what I was looking for (or really wanting at the time for that matter), but I know He put Loren in my life for a reason. I've never had anyone who has been more perfect for me before. Loren picks up where my flaws leave off, and he helps me to be a better person, to want to be a better person. I couldn't imagine having anyone else there to help me along. As I see what Loren and I have now and look back at past relationships, I see how wrong other guys were for me. So even though this wasn't what I was expecting or wanting, I know that God had other plans for the both of us. Loren also wasn't expecting or wanting it. He got off his mission in June and he had told himself he wasn't going to get serious with a girl until 2 years after his mission. Well he lasted about 2 months (actually less) before we were dating. We had been dating 2 weeks when I decided to come out the Utah. But for me it honestly wasn't my decision. I prayed about it so much before coming out and I know that Heavenly Father was telling me to come out here. While being out here I've had the opportunities I've never had before to be able to really take the time to focus on my relationship with God and Christ. To really build up my testimony to make it even stronger. Everyday I'm here and I see how much God has blessed me I'm that much more grateful for all He does in my life. I definitely don't think it was an accident Loren and I talked that night at the fireside this summer, or that no one was at Institute to take me home other than him the night we had our 1st date. I know Heavenly Father knows exactly who to place in your life when you need it, and Loren was exactly what I needed at this time. Everyday I get to know Loren the more my love grows. I hope it only continues to do so.

Any Dream Will Do

So my title just happens to be the song I'm listening to. It's been quite a while since I wrote. I had meant to several times but just didn't get around to it. A lot has happened since then, I went to General Conference (way way cool), attended another BYU game (they won and it was homecoming!!), got my patriarchal blessing (also cool), and went to Las Vegas (my least favorite of these events). I don't really know what to say about General Conference other than it was so incredible to be there. I never imagined I'd get to go to one in person it was so cool! And it was fun to hang out with some of Loren's family as the guys went to the Priesthood session. The next weekend I think was homecoming and that's when we went to the game. Honestly I didn't expect BYU to win because well if we're being honest they've been pretty terrible this year. But they pulled off the win so it was exciting!! I would write more about these things, but really it's been a while I can't remember a lot. So sorry. And I'm trying to make this not forever long.

So I finally got my patriarchal blessing. I go to the patriarchs house and he talks to Loren and I first, then talks to me alone. He was such a sweet guy and he asked me to tell him my testimony and when I got done he just said wow I'm so glad I got to hear that it was very impressive. He kept telling me Loren and I look like a nice good couple which made me laugh inside each time. But so he gives me my blessing and it was so awesome. I've told Loren before I hate blessing and being set apart and what not because I always shake a lot when they put their hands on me. I'm always afraid they can feel me shaking and think it's weird. With my patriarchal blessing I didn't shake at all. It was just so calm and peaceful through it all. It was all good but probably my favorite part was when it talked about motherhood :) For those who know me well know that my ultimate goal is to be a stay at home mom. I want to have lots of children and just stay with them and take care of them and make sure they're being raised in a loving environment knowing they're children of God and having a love for him. But also to know their parents love them regardless of anything. Well in my blessing it said I will be blessed with motherhood and love it. I will raise a family in the gospel and God will send me some of his strongest because he's confident in my abilities as a mother. When I heard that I wanted to cry. At first I was a little taken a back because it said I will be sent the strongest and in my opinion I think how can I do that? I don't think I'm strong enough to take them on, but all through out the blessing it kept repeating how Heavenly Father is pleased with me in my willingness to do whatever he asks of me.

I'm glad I got it at this age. I know a lot of people like to get it at a younger age, but I feel like this was the perfect timing for me. I don't think at any other age I would have really understood or appreciate it. The day before we left for Vegas I got my blessing in the mail so I could read it. (Oh yeah mom I've been meaning to read it to you, but every time I talk to you on the phone I forget). So this weekend we went to Las Vegas. Loren's cousin Matt was giving his homecoming talk. He got back a couple of weeks ago (just in time for conference actually) from El Salvador. So on Saturday we get to Vegas and walk down the strip. Now that I've done it that's all I can say is I walked down the strip. I have no desire to ever go back there though. It was pretty awful (well with the exception of some things). I liked the Coke and M&M places, and the fountains in front of the Bellagio was awesome. However it's definitely not a place to be after around 6, when it starts to get dark. I saw some things I wish I had never seen. I also think I wasn't enjoying it because I was running on 3 hours of sleep, riding in a car for 5 hours, and I felt like I was going to die. Needless to say when I got to bed that night I couldn't have been more thrilled. Best night of sleep ever!! Then the next day Matt gave his talk and he did an amazing job!! It was really one of the best talks I've ever heard. However I never imagined I'd be more thankful to be back in Utah.

Now we're back and things are getting to normal again. Oh and just throwing it out there I didn't get a job at the Marriott, bummer but my wonderful mother has been giving me some things to do for their office and has given me money for it. I'll take it for now. Alright that's all :)

Oh What A Beautiful Morning, Oh What A Beautiful Day.

So first off today is 2 months for Loren and I. Yay! Now I will continue on....

As I was at Loren's this morning I got a call. It was from an 801 number. Now I know if I see 801 it's either someone from church or a job. I've been looking for a job since I got here in August. It's almost October now and still don't have anything. Jobs are impossible to come by here it's frustrating. But it was a call for an interview at the Marriott!!! I was so excited she asked me if I could come in today at 2:15. I literally just got back from the interview. Anyway I was so excited because this is the first call back I've gotten. I went and changed and tried to look all pretty. Then I made lunch.

I was so proud of myself and felt like a good Mexican :) I made some homemade tortillas (which are Loren's favorite) and some potato, egg, cheese, and onions fried together. It was really good. Loren ate like 4 tortillas and half the mixture. Steve and I ate the other half. Loren drove me to the Marriott and kissed me on the forehead (my favorite I think they're soo cute) and told me good luck. I go in and the interview was really short. She only asked me like 3 questions and then told me what the job would require, the hours, and how much money it would be. I know she has at least one more person to interview. She told me she would probably make a decision tomorrow so I'm hoping I get the job. I've been praying everyday about this since I started. I'm so glad to finally get an interview and grateful that God is listening to my prayers. I know it's been a little frustrating to wait this long but I'm so glad He is listening to me. I know if I get this job it wasn't really my doing at all. Right before I went in for the interview I prayed that He'd give me the strength and right words to say. I honestly don't remember a lot of what I said but as I was sitting there the words were just flowing out. I'm very excited and I hope this will be my break.


Now I'm headed out to see Loren before he goes to work. I'm so very excited about today. It's been 2 months. It feels like so much longer than that but I've loved every second of it. I'm so glad God placed such a wonderful guy in my life. He has helped me out in so many ways and I couldn't be more grateful. If you had asked me 3 months ago where I'd be I would have said in Kentucky, stressed out at school, and trying to figure out what I want. I never imagined I would be here in Provo, with Loren, and searching for a job. I'm so excited for everything that has happened and couldn't be happier. Oh and to make things better General Conference is this weekend!!! I have tickets to the Saturday afternoon session. I'm super excited about this, it'll be all kinds of awesome!! Ok now that I've said how amazing Loren is and how excited I am about everything I'm for reals going to see him. Laters!!

Fun, Football, and Family History.

So before the weekend could start I went in to get my temple recommend and patriarchal blessing interview. Now I did the blessing interview in high school, I just never called to actually set it up. That was 2 years ago and I needed to redo it. When I was in there I also got a calling. However since you're not supposed to really talk about them til you're sustained I'll save that for Sunday :)

Saturday we had a ward activity and we tie dyed shirts! It was a lot of fun and I'm very proud of mine :)

Isn't it super cute? I think so!
Then Loren and I went to the BYU vs. Nevada football game. So the game itself was pretty lame. BYU lost (sad day) the band wasn't that good (Loren claims they were better when he was in it) and the cheerleaders were awful. Now you may think it's funny I include the last but about the cheerleaders but it's a real problem for me. I went to University of Kentucky for 2 years where cheerleading is serious business. The UK cheerleaders are 18 time National Champions. No other cheerleading squad even comes close to that number. They've won the title for like the past 5 years in a row. They're just incredible. So maybe I was spoiled at UK with the quality of cheerleaders but I think if you're going to be on a college cheerleading squad you should have at least more than one girl who can do a full twist, and you should be also to do more tosses than just a basket toss. Just throwing that out there. Anyway but I had a lot of fun spending time with Loren.

Finally Sunday. I actually had forgotten that they were going to sustain me until Brother Taggert gets up and says now we have some callings we need to sustain. They go through the list. Loren is sustained at the Co- Chair of the Public Relations committee (how convenient that he's getting a new computer this week right? hehe). Then he finishes his list and I hadn't been called. He said if there's anyone I've missed don't be afraid to tell me. You see the one hand in the very back go up and he looks at me and he was like Maggie what's your last name again and I said Hoffpauir and he said "Oh dang. We have called Maggie Hoffpauir to be a member of the Family History Committee. All those who can sustain...." blah blah blah you know the rest :) But everyone laughed, raise their hands, and I sit down. Later on when I was being set apart he told me thanks for reminding me I'm sorry I forgot. So yeah I'm on the family history committee. I was shocked to find out I was actually requested by the chair of the committee to be on there. I feel like I tell a lot of people who I am but they don't necessarily always remember me, but Rachel told me she had submitted my name to be on her committee. Maybe I made a better impression on her than I thought. Anyway I'm really excited about this calling. I'm already having so much fun. Not only do I get to work a ton on my family I get to help everyone else do it. In November we're doing a big temple trip and we want everyone to bring in their own names for baptisms. There's 3 in the committee and an indexer. We met yesterday and we're all really excited. I love our committee they're all awesome people and I'm so excited to start working with the ward and hopefully have everyone bring their own names!! That's all I really have for now, but I'd encourage everyone to do family history. It is so much fun and cool to see who you're related to, where they lived, and you  get a better connection to your family this way :) So there's my plug for my calling yay! Here's a picture of Loren and I from the game!

Rommate Bonding Time

So about two weeks ago my roommate finally moved in. Her name is Carlene. At first I wasn't sure how I felt about this because I was kind of enjoying a room to myself. But I'm really glad she is here. Carlene and I are a lot alike. We're both really laid back people who honestly just let things slide a lot. So for the first week it was kind of just an acquaintance thing. I would walk in say about 5 things and leave. It felt awkward, but now she's super cool. On Wednesday we went to Taco Bell then Wal Mart together. Tonight we went to Brick Oven. We've just been getting to know each other and I like her a lot. It's nice to have someone to talk to. You see all our other roommates (we're in an apartment with 6 girls) lived with each other before. I felt kind of out of place and pretty much hid. They go out almost every night together. So we've been having our own roommate bonding time. It's been good so far. She's super tall, she's 6 ft!! Of course to Loren this isn't tall because he stands at 6'7" (yes he's a foot and an inch taller than me). She's from LaGrande, Oregon and she's going to Paul Mitchell Beauty School here. This is super exciting for me (and Loren and his roommates) and have already offered to let her practice on us :) So yeah. I thought I'd just talk about her. Oh Loren also pointed out that you couldn't comment before on my page. I changed it so you are able to now. I'd like to think this is the real reason people haven't left me comments. So comment away :) Tomorrow I'm going to the BYU vs. Nevada (by the way Texas people Nevada is not pronounced the way we think). It'll be weird because this will be the first time I've gone to a game without being in the band. Hopefully that will be fun. I guess that's all now. Comments!!

Wishing, Hoping, and Praying...

First I'll start off with how my weekend was. So it started off really rough. With the year mark of Rachel's death I had a hard time focusing, but I was really excited because I knew Loren and I would be going to Temple Square. So we start off the day with him making german pancakes which were super delicious. I'm glad to say I have a boyfriend who can cook really well and that makes me super happy. So I know when I don't feel like cooking he'll do it for me and I don't have to worry. The only problem is he moves a lot slower than I do in the kitchen. It takes him about twice as long as it would take me to make food. Oh well that's no big deal really. Then he talks to his sister Lindsay because she was in town and we were trying to decide if we wanted lunch or dinner with her. We chose dinner and headed out to Salt Lake. Along the way I was quiet most of the time. I was still thinking about Rachel and the day before and I've realized how much her death has affected my life. I have a lot of fears and anxieties concerning my friends and family, or just everyone in general. I want to make sure people are ok and that nothing bad is going to happen to them. I like to think I can protect everyone even though I can't. So Loren and I talk about this a little and I start bawling like crazy. It's ok though he always knows what to say to make me feel better and put me in a better mood.

So we get to Salt Lake and head out to Temple Square. It was absolutely gorgeous this day! We walk around and go to the North Visitor's Center and try and figure out what movie we want to watch and when they're showing it. We decided on the Joseph Smith movie but that was in a different building and we had about an hour til it started. So we look at all the pictures, and sit in the tabernacle for a while. Then we went down to some food court and got lunch, which wasn't very good at all. Loren was very upset he spent money on this food. Now Loren really isn't a picky eater he'll generally eat anything but he wouldn't even eat half of his food that's how bad it was. I felt bad, but oh well we didn't know it was going to be that bad. Lesson learned I guess. We run over to catch the movie and arrived with literally a minute to spare. Oh my goodness it was incredible!! I cried sooo much throughout the movie but as I was watching it I just knew it was all true. All I felt the whole time was a thankfulness for the fact the the gospel was restored through Joseph Smith and how different my life would be without it. It was just one of the best movies I've ever seen, I want to see it again :)

After the movie we walk around and take some pictures. And by some I mean around 60...hehe I love pictures and Loren was such a good sport about it all. We then went to the Conference Building and took a tour of the garden on top. Although it wasn't very impressive because it's not really the right season for the flowers right now so most of them were dead. They also didn't have any water in any of the whatever they were like they normally do because they're working on them. But the actual building itself was pretty incredible. As we walked through the room with all the heads of the church presidents I immediately started singing the song as I looked at each head... hehe Loren kept calling me a nerd. I told Loren how I really wanted to go to Conference and he said we'll have to see if we can get tickets. We head back to Provo to meet up with Lindsay. We stop at In and Out and it was really good, then we went and watched Charlie St. Cloud... it was lame/weird/creepy/lame. That's pretty much all I can say about the movie. However I started crying so much at the  beginning because the little brother dies in a car wreck by getting hit by an 18 wheeler... talk about something hard to watch. All I could think about was Rachel. That was the hardest part for me to watch. I think I was pretty out of it for most of the movie after that.

After the movie I head back to the apartment and I get a text from Rumpelstilskins as Loren likes to call him haha. So Rumpel is this guy in our ward who I've become friends with... but I'm pretty sure he likes me. Loren somehow has been able to avoid meeting him for about 3 weeks now. Well he was in the game room at our apartment complex and he told me to come visit him. So I bring Loren along.... probably not the best idea now that I think about it, but I really want to get the point across that I care A LOT about Loren and that we are serious about each other. It was probably the most awkward time of my life. Rumpel just sat there and flirted with me in front of Loren, it was making him so mad. Finally I said I'm tired we should get going to bed, we leave and Loren immediately holds me in his arms as tight as he can and just sits there for a long time then finally says I love you so much and I just want to make sure I won't lose you. Such a precious moment!! The next day at church in Priesthood Rumpel sat next to Steve (Loren's roommate) who was sitting next to Loren. The whole time Rumpel was talking to Steve he never once said anything to Loren. Yeah they haven't said anything to each other since they met. I feel bad but I guess I'm not going to forced them to be friends. However while at church I got tickets to the Saturday Session of General Conference!!!! Yaayyy I'm soooo excited for this!!!

Overall the weekend was good, now to the actual part about the title of this blog. So one of Loren's  roommates, Joe, works at the Marriott here in Provo. He told me there were some openings at the hotel and to go and apply for some positions. I finally got around there today. I went in this morning and talked to Maria in Human Resources. I told her what I was interested in and she gave me an application. I left filled it out and went back a few hours later. Maria remembered me and looked at my application in front of me. This was really scary for me. Then she had like a partial interview with me. She asked a few questions about how I would deal with conflict with the people staying there if I had to. If I've ever had to deal with conflict and whether or not I feel capable and like I do it well. The whole time I just kept a smile on my face and had a positive attitude while answering the questions and tried to sound as intelligent as possible. She told me she would put in my application and it should take about 2-3 days. She gave me her card and said if I didn't hear back by Monday then to call her and she'll check on the status of my application. So I've never really applied for a job before, I wasn't sure what this meant. Loren and Steve both told me it was a good sign. They said if she was wanting me to follow up with her then she liked me and will probably be trying to find me a position in the hotel. So that's my wishing, hoping, and praying. I wishing I can get this job. Hoping that I impressed her enough. Praying that I get a call back and am able to get the job! So you all should pray for me too. I feel like this was super long, but I had a lot to say. If I become consistent with this then they won't be this long anymore. Sorry guys, I hope you made it all the way through. Oh and people should really leave me comments so I feel better about myself haha :) Ok that's all later taters!!

One Year.

So this isn't something I talk about a lot. In fact a lot of people who know me don't know how much it has affected me in the past year. Today is September 17th, 2010. It's been a year since the death of one of my good friends Rachel Clark. I knew this day would come and thought about it several times because it's definitely a date I will never forget. It doesn't feel like a year though. I feel like it was just yesterday and I remember it all so clearly. I was sitting at a table on the left side of Blazer Cafe at the University of Kentucky. I was just finishing up lunch when I received a text saying "Hey is this Maggie Hoffpauir? This is Lauren LeBlanc" I replied back with a quick yeah. The next text said "Did you hear about Rachel's accident?" I sat there, instantly I felt my heart drop as I read these words I was so scared and my first thought was oh no she's going to tell me she's dead. I replied back saying "No what happened? Is she ok?" The next text would change the rest of the day, month, semester, and even year. It said, "She got hit by an 18 wheeler and well she didn't make it through". Even though I had this gut feeling this is what she was going to tell me I never imagined it would be real. I just sat there and cried. I was eating with a guy I was dating at the time and he looked at me and said what's wrong and I just looked at him and said "One of my friends from high school died this morning".

My first reaction was to get on the internet just to make sure this wasn't some cruel joke. I ran to nearest library and logged into facebook only to see so many people before me had posted a status saying things like "RIP Rach" or "You will never be forgotten". As I sat there and stared at the computer screen I couldn't see for a while because my eyes were so full of tears. The rest of the day was kind of a big blur to me. I got several phone calls and texts throughout the day from friends telling me they love me and asking if I was ok. Somehow I managed to get through the rest of my classes that day but I honestly don't know what was taught. All I could think about was Rachel. As I was going through my phone that night I passed by her number and thought about the conversations we used to have through texts.

Not long after graduating from high school Rachel and I talked a lot. I remember her saying I wish we had talked this much in school I really love you and you're an awesome person. She called me her "spicy mexican lover" and she would send me pictures all the time on my phone just when she was bored in class and didn't have anything better to do. Or if she dyed her hair, or got something cute. I had these pictures still stored in my phone and as I looked through them it didn't feel real at all. I sat there and just expected her to call or text saying "Hey they got it wrong I'm still here I'm ok you don't need to cry anymore..." but that didn't happen. Now it's been a year. Some days it still doesn't feel real. I still expect to get a phone call from her saying they made a mistake, and even though I know it's not going to happen I like to have some hope it will.

I miss Rach every single day. I can't even begin to describe the type of person she was. Rachel was one of those people who truly understand what it meant to love people unconditionally. She loved everyone, she didn't choose a "group" to be friends with but was friends with all. She was always there to make people laugh and smile because she hated when people were upset. I remember her sitting in English everyday. We had our seats we would never move from. It was always me in the back, Ashley next to me, Kristen in front of me, and Laura in front of Kristen with Rachel right to Laura. Everyday Rachel came to class sat down and immediately started putting on make up and fixing her hair. Everyday she would complain about her hair looking awful even though it always looked flawless. She is truly one of the most beautiful people I have ever know on the inside and out. She left such a lasting impression on everyone she came in contact with. I am so grateful to be able to call her my friend and have all these wonderful memories of her. As I go throughout this day I know it won't be easy, but I know that Rach is watching me from above.

Rachel, I hope you know how much I love and miss you. I know you're in a better place and watching over me each day. I will never forget you and can't wait til the day I can see you again.

Happy Birthday Mumsies!

So today is my mom's birthday!! Yaay for her!! I wish I could be there with her, so instead I'll just write on here some of my favorite things about her. I love my mom oh so very much. I may be a little bias but I think she's the best mom in the world. From the time I was really little when my dad would go to the fire station I'd stay in my parents room and sleep with her in their bed. I still do this every time I'm home. We like to call it Maggie Mommy time and I rather enjoy that time. We'd sit there and watch Lifetime movies, and eat ice cream, make midnight runs to Sonic, massage each others feet, and I'd give her the privilege of playing with my hair :) I always like being right next to her no matter where we are. She always said I was too attached to her. However I really love her just for being my mom. I love her for raising me the best way she could and always being there for me. Even though I may not have always shown or expressed this I have appreciated all that she did and still does for me. One of my favorite songs is The Best Day by Taylor Swift. I sing it all the time and imagine I'm singing it to my mom (well I change a couple of words to make it applicable) so I think it's only fair to post the lyrics. If you click on The Best Day it will take you to a video so you can hear the song. Here are the lyrics:

I'm five years old, it's getting cold, I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides, look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
But I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today

I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop 'til I've forgotten all their names

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today

I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother, inside and out, he's better than I am
I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run
And I had the best days with you

There is a video I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs
And Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

And now I know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
For staying back and watching me shine
And I didn't know if you knew, so I'm takin' this chance to say
That I had the best day with you today

So  Happy Birthday Mumsies! I hope it's a great one!!!

Amazing Weekend!

So, last week was a looong week. Loren got back on Monday which was super exciting. I was so happy to see him, however we didn't get to spend that much time together because he had to go into work. Boo on work, well not really because work means money which is always nice. Then the next day he had to go back to school and it just wasn't his week at all. He was getting really stressed out and frustrated and I felt super bad because when he's upset it makes me upset. So on Wednesday I wanted to make his day better. While he was at work I went out and got some ingredients and made him his favorite cookies! White chocolate chip macadamia nut! I also wrote him a little poem that I knew only he would laugh at. So I went into his apartment about 20 minutes before he'd get home and his roommate Joe was on the couch. I said Joe I'm leaving my computer here (Loren needed it to do homework) and left the cookies on top of the computer with the poem, then told Joe not to eat the cookies. So I get a call from Loren after he got off and he asked if I could come down and see him and I said well I know you need to do homework and I don't want you to have to stay up any longer than necessary. He said you're right ok I'll go in. About 10 minutes later I get a text from him saying oh my goodness I love you soo much. Then I did meet him in the courtyard and he just gave me a big hug and told me thank you and how it made his day. I was glad to see him a lot happier than before. Hopefully we'll have a lot more little moments like that :)

Then this weekend Loren decided to surprise me. He took me out to Salt Lake City because he knew I had never been there and I'd been wanting to go see the temple while there. It was absolutely gorgeous!! It helps it was at night time so it was all lit up. We went into the North Visitors Center where the Christus is. As I was sitting there and I look back and see the temple behind me Loren asked what I was thinking about and I just started crying. It was totally unexpected but I had such an overwhelming feeling. Just the peace that I had while there was incredible and the spirit was so strong. I loved it! All I could think about was how amazing a temple marriage really is and all the blessings that come in store with it. Being there I couldn't help but to know that the church is true and how grateful I am to be a part of it and to have the gospel in my life. So we just walked around it and I loved every second of being out there. We've made plans to go again on Saturday to spend more time and really look at everything.

The next day was Regional Stake Conference. Now I'm used to a Stake Conference where generally your Stake President or someone like that speaks, but I'm in Utah now so I get the big time people to listen to lol. We went to the Marriott Center and I don't think I've ever seen so many Mormons in my life haha. But seriously it was packed!! But with good reason, we had 4 INCREDIBLE speakers there. Sister Beck, Elder Snow, Elder Holland, and President Packer. This was soo exciting for me, I've never see an apostle in person before much less be only about 11 rows behind him!! All of the leaders gave such amazing talks and President Packer is so adorable and funny. He was telling a story and he just stopped and started laughing. It was hilarious and cute. Later that night there was a CES Fireside where Elder Scott spoke and he did a great job as well. I'm so glad to be out in Utah right now, it's been such an incredible experience. Hopefully it'll continue being as awesome as it's been so far! Ok that's all for now, we'll see when the next time I update will be. Maybe by then I'll have more people actually reading this. Who knows. Laters!

Excitement, Sadness, and Progress.

Ok so I will go in order of my title.

1. EXCITEMENT!!

Excitement for the day is Loren gets back from Texas today and I couldn't be more thrilled. Yes I may be a little lame we were only gone from each other for a weekend but still I'm super duper excited!! He's actually on his way back from Salt Lake to Provo right now so he should be here in the next 20 minutes or so. I'm starting to get really impatient and just ready for him to be here.

2. sadness :(

So with the arrival of Loren means the departure of his cousin Jenna :( Super duper sad. Jenna came and spent the weekend with me to keep me company. I'm so glad she did so. I had so much fun with her this weekend just talking and getting to know her and have a better insight to Loren's family. We also went to Seven Peaks Water park on Saturday and then went to church yesterday and also joined in on my roommates Dessert Party then went to a Sundae party in another apartment in the complex. Mainly we just hung around the apartment, I fed her lots of food, and we got to know each other. I pretty much love her now and am super sad to see her leave. Jenna is crazy cool and such a sweet person, I hope she comes back again and often to hang out with me (and Loren I guess). So that's my sadness for the day.

3. Progress

So I've been on a job hunt and at this point I'll take anything. There is a Taco Bell that's literally less than a 5 minute walk from my apartment. Last week my mom had an 'in' for this place. A friend of hers from high school has a son who works at the one in Spanish Fork but he knew they were hiring at this one. His mom told me to go in and tell them Justin referred me to this place. Now I have an anxiety of starting a conversation with people... well at least with asking questions. I know this is odd because those of you who know me know that I love to talk, but I promise this is a true weird fear of mine.  Anyway I've been praying that I will have the strength to go in and ask about jobs. So Jenna decided she wanted Taco Bell for lunch so I made the decision I would ask. I order my food then asked if they were still hiring. The guy said oh yeah we are and I said well Justin referred me from Spanish Fork and he goes oh yeah I know him I just transferred from there to here. I'm his friend. Then he continues to tells me he's the new head manager there at this Taco Bell (meaning he's in charge of hiring). So he told me to bring in a resume any day this week he's working all week. So my connection just may work. I'm planning on going in either tomorrow or Wednesday, we'll see. But I'm super duper excited on this progress. So hopefully I'll have a job within this next week and can start making my own money :)

I'm pretty sure this is all for now and I wasted enough time that Loren should be here in like 10 minutes... scratch that now. He just called me so yay!!! That's all :))

Jenna and I at Dessert Night :)

Having Fun

Ok so I was inspired by the wonderful Jenna Stewart to start a blog. My main reason is because I've been wanting to start writing in a journal but I decided I'm a more internet savvy person and so this will kind of be like a journal for me and for everyone else to see. Basically in this first entry I don't have anything interesting.  I went to University of Kentucky for 2 years as a Music Education major. I just moved out to Provo, Utah 2 weeks ago and am in the process of trying to find a job. I live in an apartment with 5 other girls I just met and they're all really cool and there's definitely never a dull moment with this bunch. Pretty much right now I'm just trying to figure out what to do and make some moneys. So hopefully as time goes on I'll think of more to say and keep you guys interested. This is all for now. Latas!